The ultimate guide to start your healing process

Nearly twenty years ago, I awoke from my sleep and immediately grabbed a tablet (paper) at the time and began to write what I had dreamt about. This continued for a few weeks. At the time I thought it was a message for one of my sisters. Over the years if I sat down to write, I had total writer’s block. The words came only through my dreams. I was, however, able to come up with the name of the book and a format in which I wanted to deliver the message. After several attempts to come up with words for the book, I finally decided to give it a break and believed that when the time was right, the words would come to me.

Fast forward to 2024. Since I put the book writing to rest, I have experienced more than I could have ever imagined. Although not all bad, the bad seems to be in the forefront of my purpose.

In 2017, I became a Life coach, believing at the time, it was my mission to help others. Not sure of my niche, I decided to become a nutrition coach and help those with lupus live better lives by changing their diet. In 2021, the year that changed my life forever, my son Cameron, passed away in a motorcycle accident. This was more than I could handle. During my time in therapy, a few people asked if I had considered becoming a grief and loss coach. My response was a definite no. I became depressed, gained weight and had no hope and lost connections with many people. How could this be when I was the girl with hundreds of people at her birthday parties? Of all the adversity I had faced, this was the one I did not believe I would have the strength to endure.

One day as I sat in group therapy, I realized that the room could be separated into sub-groups, and I could be a part of every single group because over the years, either directly or indirectly, I had experienced heartbreak, loss of loved ones, loss of health, loss of employment, homelessness, grief and depression, drug addiction and alcoholism. As a result of the loss of my son, I became laxed with my finances, health and my community. I could not imagine a light at the end of the tunnel. What happened to “it will get better?” I was stuck, could feel myself in quicksand and still did nothing.

One day my daughter and I had a conversation. More of a role reversal because she became the mom at that moment. She began to tell me that I had been a good mother to her and my son and that I had poured so much into them. She said some words that made a world of difference. If I may quote, she said “Mommy, you are the strongest woman I know. I know you are hurt but you have got to get up and get moving. Cameron served his purpose and you have got to do the same. If you don’t, mommy your whole life would have been in vain”.

I thought about her words and although I had so much anger in my heart and I wanted to hate life, I decided that I would get moving. I had not dreamt about my son since he passed and that night, I did. He made me laugh as he always had and for that I am grateful.

The next week I sat down and was able to write the remaining chapters of “Getting to the Root of It”. Not through a dream this time. My belief is that the reason I had not finished the book 20 years ago was because it was not time. I had to live through it so I could share it.

My hope is that the readers of this book relate to the journey that Gardner is on and can use the learnings in the book to transform their own lives.